Today, I had a meeting that involved revisiting some people and remembering unpleasant circumstances of my past. Let me make it plain. I had to attend a child support conference because my daughter's Y chromosome hasn't contributed financially for over a year. I was not happy about having to attend, but I knew it was beneficial and imperative. In fact, I didn't want to attend, because I can care less if he contributes or not. She has been and will continue to be fine without his help. During the meeting, I couldn’t help but to be thrown back into time. I was able to remember like it happened yesterday, but much time had passed, and many things had changed.

Sitting there in the office, while waiting for his arrival, I was curious as to how I would respond to his face after not seeing him for over six years. I wanted to know how I would react or feel inside, because I honestly didn't know.  But unsurprisingly he didn't show.  All kinds of crazy thoughts came rushing through my mind, recalling events I thought I had forgotten. Nope, they were still there, buried inside of me, hiding away, because they were no use to me, or were they?

Slow down! We may have to work to live but we don't have to live to work. Life passes by faster than we can imagine. Overworking oneself increases stress and decreases one's lifespan. The truth is you can't afford to over work yourself.  Jobs and careers can consume our time and lifestyle, but if not careful, it will consume our life...literally.

Before we know it, life has passed us by and we look back on the days we have lived and pose various questions and "what if" scenarios. One thing I try very hard not to do now, is work too hard or too long for someone else. To each his own, but I prefer not to give my life and time to a company or another person's entity. I have seen friends and family devote their life, sacrifice their time and family for a job/career. In turn, they were laid off or fired without remorse or sympathy. I, myself, have worked diligently and hard in past corporate positions, only to be passed over or rejected for deserved promotions. No, I am not suggesting not to work or  commit to a career - that is crazy, what I am expressing, is that you live your life and not give your everything to a job. There must be a healthy balance.

Life is not going to rewind for you to relive or participate in moments that you miss. Life cannot pause for you to catch up to the precious time you are losing with family. Furthermore, life cannot give back the good health you lose by not giving your body proper rest and attention that it is due. Work and live your life, but love your life as well. 

Stop by and READ at Real Age to learn how you can slow down and replenish your body, so you can receive all the years of your life.

Honestly, how many bags are you carrying that don’t belong to you? Not grocery or Saturday shopping spree bags, but other folks’ bags, better known as baggage. Let me count the ways I had to end, dissolve, and separate myself from relationships with people that had me carrying more of their own bags than my own.  It wasn’t an easy move, but a necessary one. At one time, I was a serious bag lady, 90% of my relationships were unreciprocated.  I was giving so much of myself to others, that I had no room in my own life for my own junk.  Female to female friendships, boyfriend-girlfriend relationships, business acquaintances, kinship, you name it, the ‘ship was unbalanced.

I had the pleasure of attending a high school football game a few months back. The last time I attended a high school football game was, well, when I was in high school. Oh my goodness, the memories that rushed through my head at the sight of the field, the sound of the band, and the intensity of the crowd. What sweet times I had in high school. As I looked at the students, the cheerleaders, the football players, I couldn't believe how young they looked. They looked like kids, not yet ready for the world, babies, still wet behind the ears. Amazing. As I recalled myself in those bleachers, I thought I was grown in high school. I thought I knew so much; not just me but my friends, too. I thought I was ready to tackle the world senior year. I couldn't wait to leave the nest and experience life, void of parents; but if I looked like any of those kids, which I'm sure I did, thoughts sure do lie.

The other night my daughter took me for a loop.  She almost fell down the steps in amazement when she heard me singing a popular Usher song, from early 2000. She was stuck in bewilderment, having a “ding ding” moment. The bell went off and I’m not sure if it was, ding-ding, “Wow, my mom was once young(er)", or ding-ding, “Get out of here, my mom was once cool”. Whichever of the two, I was really surprised. Why?  Because I am still cool and young (please squeeze pretty, hot or sexy between cool and young, only for the sake of accuracy.) and I thought she knew that. Right? No, I don’t listen to the same songs or genre of music I listened to over ten years ago, but every now and then, I like to catch a train back down memory lane, and jam (jam-not a word that will help the credibility of cool or young).

For the first time, she placed me in the “Mom” bubble; meaning, that is who and all I am, and life didn’t exist before the day she was born. After she looked at me with the crooked eye and stank lip twisted, she shook her head, said “What in the world” and changed the song to a more current beat that we both could sing and share together i.e. Taylor Swift’s, “We are never ever getting back together”. This was good for her, because we both knew the song, and it didn’t place me in a life separate from her own.

Jamming, (it's my word, and I'm keeping it) to Usher threw me into a time warp, and landed me in a place where life was different, with less responsibility, crazy parties, not too many cares, just a good time; it did that thing that memorable songs do to a person...it took me back. Then long and behold, thanks to the kid, I was smacked in the face by reality. Wake up call! Oh my goodness, I’m not that same cool chick. What? Although, I can remember the words, the dances, and the dates, my life is totally different.  Different? Yes, different, but in a good way.

My life has morphed at least 100 times since I waited for the release of the aforementioned song. I am still cool, but in a thirty something year old way. I’m not being trapped in any bubbles; not the mom bubble, not the wife bubble, nope not any at all. Life did exist before the words, “It’s a girl”, and although it may not look like it on most days, due to the fact that there are not enough hours in a day to maintain both hair and housework, or current fashion trends and my work plus the kid’s homework. True, I’m not the stay up all night, get up at the crack of dawn, and still be able to function, kind of cool like I use to be, but I can still hang with the girls for laughs. Now, I listen to my body more intently as it lets me know, sooner than later, when it is ready to shut down.

It is a thin line between cool and uncool, in and out, feeling young, and being young. I knew I was finally “getting older” when I called a group of college students a “bunch of kids”. I thought, “What the heck?” immediately after the words rolled out of my mouth. How in the world could I call 20 year old adults, kids, and mean it? Easy, because to me that’s what they were, and when I was their age, that’s what I was.  My discovery is, I’ve surpassed cool and young and landed in a mature place only fit for, sophisticated, sexy, multi- taskers (also known as mom, wife, and the everyday woman).

Ladies, we don’t have to compromise our cool and young for aged and dowdy. Yes, we are aging, and yes we are not current on all things hip, but we have a style and world of our own, that we run pretty darn well; and that alone is cooler than anything else. Head bobbing to a song about a man who cheated on his girlfriend and got another girl pregnant in the process, and shouting lyrics about not being ready for kids, probably wasn’t a cool factor to my daughter, it just looked weird and out of place, may be even scary. Saggy mom jeans…not gonna happen, but booty crack skinny jeans will never grace these hips because youthfulness is something to exude, not something that you have to show. Accepting where you are in life and loving and owning it…that is cool. So, burst any bubble that you may be trapped in, because who you are, is so much more than what you are. And what you have to offer is so much more than what you give.

And I’m still jamming.

Holy Cow, another Liebster! It's my second award. This is so freakin' nice and I owe thanks for the nomination to the awesome Jessica Dy of

Blogging is no easy task, and being recognized, admired, and supported by your peers is an awesome, feel good thing. That's what the ole' Liebster is about. Getting to know other bloggers, for support and to make new relationships. Of course it is totally 100% voluntary, but it is fun to participate if you can.

** 11 Facts about Me **

1.    I am an only child
2.    I currently have only one child
3.    I love to cook
4.    I love to people watch - people are at their funniest when they are not trying to be
5.    I was, am, and will probably continue to be a Tom Boy, because I love to wrestle
6.    Despite the TB status, I luuuv high heel shoes.
7.    I am a bargain shopper
8.    I plant a vegetable garden as soon as the season permits
9.    I have become a DVR junkie - I don't like watching a show unless I can fast forward the                 commercials
10.    I call my mom "Hon" and so does my daughter
11.    My favorite flowers are the Calla Lily and Pussy Willow


** 11 Questions from The Wondering Brain to Me **

1.    What made you interested in blogging?
I've always enjoyed writing and this was the easiest way - so I thought- to be able to do it as often as I like, while being an encouragement along the way.

2.    Who is your hero? Why?
My Hon, my mommy. She sacrificed much for me to be able to have a wonderful upbringing. She has always supported me and put me first. She is a great example of true love.

3.    If money was no object, what would you spend it on?
If it wasn't an object, this page nor time wouldn't be enough space to say all that I would do with it. Before all, I would be a HUGE blessing to my Hon and let her make the first decision.

4.    Do you sing or dance?
I sing and dance, especially when the mood is right :) I love to do both, but I've danced "professionally" for inspiration, weddings, and church events for over ten years.

5.    What is your favorite childhood memory?
I have so many, but if I had to pick one, I would choose the moments shared with my grandpop, Nana, and favorite aunt. All have passed on, but I still miss and love them incredibly.

6.    What is your dream vacation?
My dream vacation is a hot place, with a beach, good food, and no kids :)

7.    What is the most daring thing that you've done?
Hmm. The most daring thing that I've done would probably be walking down the side of a broken bazillion foot high roller coaster. I was scared shipless, but after being stuck for over an hour, I had to do it.

8.    What is your favorite book?
The Good Earth, To Kill a Mockingbird, and The Color Purple

9.    If you could change something in your life, what would it be?
I would move to a warmer climate. I really want to, but have to consider family and all that mushy stuff. Plus, I secretly like being a Philly girl.

10.    What do you plan to achieve this year?
To move and get my business fully grounded and operating at the income level I need and want.

11.    Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
In five years, I see myself in good health, happy, and successful.

 **Now, the Eleven I choose to Nominate **
*This is completely voluntary, so please don't feel any stress and pressure over this nomination

Fruitful Living
Blogging While Single
Mommy Dourest
Team Fabulicious
All of Me
The World According to Lady Bren
Sparkles and Plaid
Life Once Make it Worth
Second Chances Girl
Finding Myself Young
Tanisha Lynne

If you participate: I look forward to reading all that you share. Don't forget to choose the next eleven!

** My Eleven Questions to the Nominees  **

1.    What is your favorite pastime?
2.    If you could re-do any age, what age would it be?
3.    If you were  stranded on an island, what is the one thing you couldn't do without?
4.    What is your guilty pleasure?
5.    What is one thing you've done once, but would like to do again?
6.    Favorite song or artist?
7.    When is the last time you went on a vacation, without work or kids?
8.    Do you have a reality show must see?
9.    If you could have one super power, what would it be?
10.   Why do you blog?
11.    How many hours a day or week, do you commit to blogging?

I'm happily gray! You read that right. I've been this way since I was 25 years old. I met my first coily strand when I was standing innocently in the mirror, prepping my head for a pull back. There it was, shiny gray, almost white, and more course than the surrounding black strands. It was beautiful. Right?

Well it was to me, until my aunt spotted it and cursed its bane existence. She acted like I was the crypt keeper or something worse. She couldn't get off the fact that I was 25 years old with a long sparkling gray hair. Looking closely, you could see a few other members sprouting forth. She began to rant on and on about how I must be stressed and I am letting the world get the best of me, yada, yada, yada, NO! None of it was true. I was young, happy, and felt like I still had the world on my side. My only explanation to the early gray, had to be genetics.

I tried to flip the script on her, and convince her of some old wives tale. I told her that a sign of early gray, was a sign of wisdom and maturity. I didn't have a head full of gray, just one long strand, that was not easily spotted and for some odd reason, seven years ago, that seemed cool to me.  She listened to my blah, blah, blah, not buying a bit of it, walked over to the mirror, stretching her hand out, she yanked my solo uno gray strand out of my head, and flung it on the floor like a dead bug. I was crushed. The nerve of her. Obviously she didn't know the old wives tale about pulling out gray: For every one strand you pull, ten more grow back!

Now look what you've done! -
Disclaimer: this is only my face pasted on a beautifully gray haired body. :)

Present day, I have a small cluster of gray hair that grows around the area my first strand was violently pulled from, smack dab in the front of my head. I'm not mad about it, and don't feel the need to dye it- at least not yet. I like it....kinda. I preferred the single cool looking strand compared to the confused, unruly cluster, but it's all good. I'm happily gray, with no complaints.

How do you deal with your gray? You know it is an inevitable change.

Last Monday evening, I was sitting home, minding my business, surfing junk TV, trying to enjoy a little time to myself after putting baby girl to bed, when all of a sudden it hit me. My stomach began to churn and turn, causing me all kinds of weird feelings. My face twisted as I began to brace myself for what was about to come. A stomach bug. A stomach virus, now? Why? I tried to fight and ignore it, but it overtook me and forced me to run...no charge...to the bathroom. What the heck? I was just fine. I was just laughing, web surfing, channel flipping, enjoying myself. Instantly, my mind began to wonder, trying to recall what brought this ailment upon me. I needed to find the culprit, to curse its existence. But I couldn't think clearly with my head held over a toilet bowl.

Unfortunately, I spent the following two and half days confined to the bed, enduring restless nights of sleep. I don't like a lot of attention, and I am use to doing, doing, doing. So, I hate it when something like a stupid cold, or in this case a stomach bug, knocks me off track - but it is nice to see my sweetie step up to the plate and take complete control of mommy duty. In the midst of my illness, I received a phone call from a "friend" - the friend who always needs a dumping post. The friend who won't allow you to get a word in, unless it is commenting on their dilemma.  I sounded like death becomes her, so she couldn't help but ask what was wrong. After I told her how I felt and the agony I was experiencing, she continued to proceed with her dumping. Hell-o! I'm over here throwing up green unknown liquid (because that's all you have left after vomiting for two consecutive days) and you still wish to continue to dump on me. Something is wrong with this picture. Does it always have to be about you?

Even in the turmoil of my pain, she somehow made herself the center; she somehow re-routed the conversation back to her stuff.  I found myself with the phone up to my ear, stomach burning, listening to this chick's relationship woes. 

IT IS NOT COOL to constantly dump on people, but above all, it is not cool to constantly allow people to dump on you. It is hard enough dealing with your own world, you cannot always be a sounding board, that's a lopsided relationship. If you find yourself always on the receiving end of a relationship, something is WRONG. If those in your close circle can't share life's ups and downs equally, then something is WRONG. If you find yourself getting to the point of asking "Can it be about me, for once", something is WRONG. I really struggled with this for quite some time. I always made myself readily available to others no matter what time of day or night, sick or well.  I felt like they needed me and I had to put myself on the back burner for a friend in need; until I discovered the value of my time.

I realized I couldn't point the blame on friends because it was the relationship I started and a flaw I had to fix. If you don't value yourself or your time, no one else will. Period. You have to be in control of your time and how you allow others to use it.  The time I needed to get well, was obviously more important than the time needed to counsel her confused emotions. I had to get a grip and control of the conversation and redirect it back to ME. I wasn't well, and I couldn't indulge in anything, except my face in a bucket. Can't it be about me, for once? Heck, Yeah: once, twice, three times and more!

Two and a half weeks ago, I celebrated my daughter's eleventh birthday and became reflective on one of the greatest, yet hardest times of my young adult life. I found myself a single parent, at a time when I wasn't even expecting to be a parent. I was in my junior year of college (Temple U baby!), with my boyfriend of four years, when we found out we were about to become parents. I was not happy or ecstatic, instead I instantly began to think about college and my scheduled graduation date. I got an attitude at the thought of having to move back home. I was not ready. My daughter's father, on the other hand, felt differently. He was happy! He started talking marriage - marriage? He called and told his family. He was ready.

Six and a half months later, I came home to an empty place. Literally and figuratively. Literally:  What was empty? The closest. What was gone? All of my daughter's father's belongings, along with the Playstation and my fave game, Mrs. Pac Man (such a LOSER). Figuratively:  What was empty? My spirit and mind. What was gone? My hope and aspiration for the near future. What was going on? I was at a place beyond confusion. I remember calling, and calling, and calling, and calling him all evening, receiving no answer. Honest to goodness, I didn't know what this all meant. We weren't arguing, in fact, we had a pretty great relationship and we were having a baby.

After TWO days of not "finding" him,  I literally became sick after...

He worked in construction, so I got in my car and drove from one site to the next looking for him. Finally I found him at a construction site over an hour away from our home. When he was told that someone was there to see him, he walked over to me with the most dismissive attitude I'd ever witnessed. He was not the same person I knew, he was cold and nasty. What the hell happened in a week? Was the person I spent the last four years with pretending to be someone he wasn't, and now I was experiencing the "real" him? In that short moment, he laid it out for me.

From that moment, my life changed. I went through a period of depression, rejection, confusion, questioning myself. I went through feelings of anger, that intensified to hatred. I hated him, his name, his family - for lying to me, I hated the fact that I was having his baby. I hated that I trusted him and he hurt me. Then it kicked me. Literally. I began to feel my baby kick inside of me. I had to put a hold on those feelings. I was about to be a mother. I was about to have a freakin' baby! 

On February 12, I gave birth to a lovely baby girl. All the pain, hatred, rejection, and feelings of worthlessness were swallowed up in the second I stared into her eyes. Six months earlier, I thought the pregnancy was the end of my life, but giving birth to her saved my life. After three pushes, I never looked back or revisited the pain or the person. To date her father has remained true to his word. He was not and still is not ready to be a father, and I am cool with it. Thank you for leaving me, while I was pregnant. My daughter has been the central force of every positive, on track decision that I have made. I have only reached above, and never settled for less with her in my life.

There may be times in your life, when the pain is so extreme you can't see yourself coming out. There may be situations when someone whom you trust and love, will hurt you more than your worst enemy. There may be events so frightening that it trumps any nightmare; but hold fast to time, because things will turn again in your favor. In those moments, you have to find your light, that "thing" that guides you through. In my case it was my lovebug, my joy, my baby girl Faith. I never knew I could love another human being this much. Most importantly, I never knew another human being could unconditionally love me this much.

You are too good and too important to life to let another individual have power over your feelings and emotions causing you to feel worthless or inadequate. Find your light to guide you through and you will be surprised at the strength you find in yourself.

When I  told my mom that I was asked to review Shari's Berries, she almost came through the telephone. Filled with  excitement, I could hear her salivating at the mouth. When our conversation ended, I visited Shari's Berries website and was equally as excited, as I saw pictures of their juicy chocolate dipped strawberries.

My dilemma: How in the world was I supposed to choose which deliciousness to try and review? Everything looked mouth watering good. I know Shari's Berries is widely known and popular for their chocolate dipped strawberries, but Shari outdoes herself with options consisting of chocolate covered cherries, chocolate dipped pretzels, handmade smores, swizzled cake pops, CHOCOLATE COVERED OREOS - excuse me as I wipe the drool. 

Being the giving person that I am, and the fact that I fell short on Valentine's gifts this year, I based my decision solely on the loved ones around me. My mother only hinted a bazillion times about "those giant chocolate strawberries with the nuts" and my honey was borderline begging for cheesecakes. Luckily for me, I found the perfect combination: The Cheesecake Trio & Gourmet Dipped Fancy Strawberries.

I found the ordering process to be simple. To have such an extensive selection, the pages are easy to navigate through. Before I finalized my order, I was able to write a message to be included in the order, which I made out for my mom, daughter, and honey. On arrival day, the package arrived without any problems. The strawberries and the cheesecakes were wrapped separately accompanied by a "Shari's Berries" cooling pack. 

My first thought was "Yum". The strawberries were not as large as I expected, in fact they were average size, not over size as the pictures appeared, but they were juicy. All three cheesecakes (Classic New York, White Chocolate, and Rocky Road flavored) were deceivingly dense and incredibly rich. The cheesecakes were delicious but too much chocolate for my palette. It would have been nice to have a non chocolate flavored or decorated cheesecake, but these are the standard and only three cheesecake options; however, my mother was very well pleased with every use of chocolate and cheesecake. My honey, my daughter, and I enjoyed the white chocolate striped strawberries, the most- being only two to share amongst three people wasn't a pretty sight.

Overall, we enjoyed our treats from Shari's Berries. Everything was fresh and neatly packaged. Shari's Berries is a cool gift for anyone or a sweet to enjoy with friends, family, or by yourself.  If you would like to indulge in Shari's Berries chocolate goodness, shop responsibly and visit http://www.berries.com/coupon-codes.aspx  for coupon codes.